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And yet, contemporary conceptions of marital intimacy seem like a longing for that shackling oneness, where privacy is seen as an affront to spousal cohesion, and our partners are entitled to investigate and police us, as if we are children.But privacy is vital to our autonomy and self-growth.If the idea of a “private life” outside marriage sounds oxymoronic, it’s because we’ve so thoroughly romanticized the fusion of ourselves with our partners as a kind of testament to the depths of our intimacy.
Today, up to 75% of us stray in one form or another according Perel, author of the best-selling Mating in Captivity.
Wade legalized abortion, protecting women’s reproductive choice; and Lawrence insured our freedom to forge intimate association with whomever we choose.
As much as we may yearn for a womb-like oneness with our spouses, our well-established right to privacy doesn’t end in matrimony.
Privacy, a new off-Broadway play starring Daniel Radcliffe at the Public Theater in New York City, contemplates all the ways in which the digital revolution has destroyed privacy—and it mourns for its loss.
The provocative production got me thinking about renowned couple’s counselor Esther Perel’s Ted Talk, “Rethinking Infidelity.” In her eloquent lecture, she discusses the ways in which our privacy has dramatically decreased due to technological innovations, while our access to sexual possibilities has exponentially increased for the same reason, making the expectation of marital monogamy far harder to fulfill, and infidelity far easier to discover.